A Guide to Celebrating the Rite of the Sacrament of Reconciliation

The basic requirement for the Sacrament of Reconciliation is to have the intention of returning to God like the "Prodigal Son" and to acknowledge our sin with true sorrow before a priest.

Pope John Paul II: "To those who have been far away from the Sacrament of Reconciliation and forgiving love, I make this appeal: come back to this source of grace, do not be afraid!  Christ himself is waiting for you. He will heal you, and you will be at peace with God!" 

In the Lord's Presence

Prayerfully Ponder the Words of the Psalmist

O Lord, you search me and you know me; you know my resting and my rising; you discern my purpose from afar. You mark when I walk or lie down; all my ways lie open to you.

Before ever a word is on my tongue, you know it, O Lord, through and through. Behind and before, you besiege me; your hand ever laid upon me. Too wonderful for me, this knowledge; too high, beyond my reach.

O where can I go from your spirit, or where can I flee from your face? If I climb the heavens, you are there. If I lie in the grave, you are there.

If I take the wings of the dawn and dwell at the sea's farthest end, even there your hand would hold me fast.

If I say: "Let the darkness hide me and the light around me be night," even darkness is not dark for you, and the night is as clear as the day.

For it was you who created my being, knit me together in my mother's womb. I thank you for the wonder of my being, and for the wonders of all your creation.

Already you knew my soul; my body held no secret from you when I was being fashioned in secret and molded in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw all my actions, they were all written in your book; every one of my days was decreed before one of them came into being.

To me, how mysterious your thoughts; the sum of them not to be numbered! If I count them, they are more numerous than grains of sand; to finish, I must be eternal like you...

O search me, God, and know my heart; O test me and know my thoughts. See that I follow not the wrong path; and lead me in the path of life eternal.

Before Reconciliation pray in your own words or these words:

Lord Jesus,
Open my mind and my heart to your Holy Spirit.
Show me where I am failing to love your heavenly father.
Show me where I am failing to love you; failing to accept you as my savior; failing to seek you and yield to you as my Lord.
Show me where I am failing to love the Holy Spirit; failing to be open and to be led by Wisdom and Love.

Lord Jesus,
Show me where I am failing to love any one of your brothers or sisters as you love me.
Show me where I am failing to love myself as you love me.
Show me where I am putting myself before God.
Show me where I am seeking my own desires at the expense of a brother or sister.
Your power finds its strength in my weakness; without you I can do nothing.

Examination of Conscience

In answering the question of the young man in the Gospel, "What good deed must I do to have eternal life?", Jesus replies: "If you would enter eternal life, keep the commandments." The commandments state what is required in the love of God and love of neighbor. 

The following references are intended to be guidelines to help you reflect on the state of your relationship with God and with your fellow brother and sister in Christ.
When have I not set my heart on God?
When have I loved the things of this world or my own preferences more than God?
Have I listened to the Word of God?
Am I faithful to prayer?
Do I learn the teachings of the Church and strive to keep them?
Have I hesitated to defend my beliefs in the presence of others?
Do I fear to let others know I am a Christian? Do I pray daily?
Do I lift my mind and heart to God, or merely recite words?
Do I ask God's help in time of temptation or need?
Do I keep God's name holy?
Do I respect God and others by my choice of words, avoiding those that give offense?
Do I worship the false gods of money, superstition, selfishness, or illicit drugs?
Do I choose violence as a solution to problems?
Am I faithful to daily prayer?
Am I faithful to Mass?
Am I going to Mass or saying my prayers as a duty and no more?
Do I trust God's loving care for me? How do I show this trust?
Do I make time to read Scripture, that I may know and hear Jesus and his Father?
Do I really try to seek God's will, not mine, in prayer?
Am I angry with, or afraid of God?
WHAT is my attitude toward God? WHY is that?

– My Relationship with God –

– My Relationship With Those Nearest To Me –

Bring each one of those nearest to you in your life, one by one, into your mind and heart in the presence of the Lord. Ask him to let you see that person through his eyes and to show you what attitudes he wants you to have toward that person. Ask him what he wants you to do for that person. Ask him to show you if you are an obstacle to the Father's plan of love for any one of those who are nearest to you. 

Take time to reflect on this in the Lord's presence and ask him for his help and healing. Speak whatever may be revealed to you as being a stumbling block in someone's way to God.

Have I been patient and loving to my family?
Have I obeyed and cared for my parents?
Have I set a good example for my children?
Am I faithful to my spouse in my heart and in my relations with others?
Have I failed to respect any family member or friend?
Have I failed to accept anyone just as he or she is?
Have I been patient with another's differences from me?
Have I been tolerant with another's shortcomings?
Have I been sensitive to another's needs and weaknesses?
Am I holding a grudge?
Do I criticize and find fault?
Do I show positive acts of kindness to others?
WHY do I do things I should not be doing?
WHY do I not do things I should be doing?

– My Relationship With Everyone –

Have I shown genuine love to my neighbor?
Do I take advantage of them?
Do I do unto them what I would not want done unto myself?
Do I share my possessions with the needy?
Have I helped victims of oppression, misfortune, or poverty?
Do I look down on the poor, the sick, the elderly, strangers, and people of other races?
Do I give to charities?
Am I active in my parish?
Have I contributed to the unity of the Church, the spread of the Gospel, and peace and justice? 
Do I support the community where I live?
Do I promote justice, morality, harmony, and love among its citizens?
Have I paid my taxes?
Do I take seriously my civic responsibility to vote my conscience?
Have I carefully considered the mind of the Church as I developed my views on public issues and communicated these to my elected officials?
At work, am I just, hardworking, and honest, serving society out of love for others?
Do I pay a fair wage to my employees?
Have I been faithful to promises and contracts?
At school, do I participate in class in a way that shows respect for others?
Do I help others learn?
Do I complete my assignments on time?
Do I respect and heed those in authority over me?
Do I use my authority for my own advantage or for the good of others?
Have I been truthful and fair?
Have I injured others by deceit, malicious gossip, detraction, rash judgment, or violation of a secret?
Have I committed violence against others?
Have I damaged someone's person, reputation, honor, or possessions?
Have I advised or acted against the gift of life? Do I harbor hate for anyone?
Am I estranged from others through quarrels, enmity, insults, or anger?
Have I not testified to someone's innocence?
Have I stolen someone's property?
Have I desired it unjustly?
Have I restored what I caused someone to lose?
Have I been ready to make peace and forgive those who have injured me?
Do I desire revenge against someone who has harmed my family or community?
Do I despise any group of people? WHY?
Do I discriminate against any group or individual because of race, religion, nationality, politics, age, profession, gender, or any other reason? WHY?
Do I consider any group or individual inferior to me? WHY?
When someone has needed my, have I refused to help? WHY?
Do I pray for Christian unity?

– My Relationship With God's Other Creatures –

Have I spoiled any part of creation?
Have I abused animals by cruelty or neglect?
Have I been wasteful?
Am I too fond of money or material things? WHY?
Do I act as though everything I have is mine to do with as I please?
Am I open-handed and generous; or tight-fisted and mean?
Do I drive responsibly and with consideration for others?
Do I make positive contributions to the community?
Do I take my vocation seriously and live up to my responsibilities?

– My Relationship With Myself –

Does the hope of eternal life guide the decisions of my life?
Have I grown in the Spirit through prayer and self-denial?
Have I tried to control my bad inclinations and passions, like envy or excessive love of food or drink?
Have I been proud and boastful?
Have I imposed my will on others?
Have I used my time, health, and strength for the sake of the Gospel?
Do I squander them on lesser goods?
Have I been lazy and too much given to leisure?
Have I patiently accepted the sorrows and disappointments of life?
Have I fasted and abstained when the Church asks me to?
Do I practice chastity out of respect for my body and the bodies of others?
Have I given in to sensuality?
Have I indulged in reading, conversation, websites, and entertainments contrary to Christian values and human decency?
Have I led others to sin by my failure to maintain these standards?
Have I been faithful to my married life?
Have I been faithful to my state of life as a single person?
Have I gone against my conscience out of fear or hypocrisy?
Have I always tried to act in the true freedom of a Child of God and live according to the Holy Spirit?
Do I feel angry often?
If so, is it because I expect everything and everyone to march to my beat?
Am I acting as though I were God?
Do I accept that the Father loves me?
Am I seeking to know God's will so that I may consent and cooperate?
Am I unwilling or afraid to say 'yes' to God?
Do I prefer my plans over God's will?
Do I cherish and care for my body as a gift of God?
Have I been greedy, lustful, or lazy?
Do I live by the pleasure principle: "I want what I want, when I want it" in any area of my life?
Am I a prisoner of fear, anxiety, worry, guilt, inferiority, or hatred of myself, for whatever the reason?
Do I have over the past to God's merciful love? Do I allow it to trouble me still?
Do I plan prudently for future things that are within my choice and control; and hand the rest to God's wise love?
Do I fret with worry, anticipating what might happen?

In the presence of our Lord, ask him to let you see yourself as he sees you. He loves you so much that he laid down his life for you. Always look at your dark side only through the eyes of Jesus, your Savior, your Healer, your Brother, your Shepherd, your Lord. Since God acquits you, who are you to condemn yourself? Now rest in his presence and be still.

CELEBRATION OF THE SACRAMENT

Now that you have reflected on your life, what would you like to tell God? Do you see a pattern emerge? Do you see some old behaviors that have been with you a while? Do you see new behavior you have not faced before? Are there some specific actions for which you are especially sorry? Are there some deeply held attitudes you would like to change? Are there some offenses that are completely behind you? Are there some things you have done, but that you know you will never do again? Can you  imagine living life differently? Do you realize what you will have to do to break the pattern of not accepting God's love? Ask God to help you decide, as specifically as possible, what you would like to tell the priest when speak of your life and ask for healing from God.

Welcoming the Penitent

You may go to the priest behind a screen or face to face. Some people find that looking at the priest helps them be honest and helps the priest give better spiritual advice. Others prefer the anonymity of the screen. In either case, the priest should welcome you warmly and greet you with kindness.

He might begin by saying, "Hello," "Good afternoon," "Peace," or "The Lord be with you." He will probably be vested.

You would greet the priest who then says: "In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." You would make the sign of the cross and answer: "Amen." 

The priest invites you to trust God by saying: "May the Lord be in your heart and help you to confess your sin with true sorrow." You answer, "Amen."

Reading of Sacred Scripture (optional)

The priest may then read or say by heart some words taken from Sacred Scripture about the mercy of God and/or repentance.

Penitent's Reconciliation

You can now begin the Sacrament of Reconciliation: "Bless me Father, for I have sinned."  You may continue with the time since your last Reconciliation: "My last Reconciliation was ...(approximately how many weeks, months, or years)." 

However, the Rite of Reconciliation gives you complete freedom in choosing how to confess your sin. You may begin this way, or you may tell the priest some other helpful information, such as your marital status, health, anxieties, or joys. It is up to you. Tell the priest any context that may help him give you the best spiritual advice and healing that he can.

Start with those things that are most difficult to say, after this, it will be easier to mention the rest. You may describe specific actions and omissions; or sinful habits and attitudes. Describe your life fully but succinctly. Conclude with: "I am sorry for these and all the sins of my past life."

Spiritual Guidance and Penance

The Sacrament of Reconciliation should produce conversion of heart. Let the priest know what you want to change. Trust that God will give you the help and healing you need. The priest might ask some questions to make sure he understands correctly. He may offer some spiritual guidance. He may encourage you to find strength in the death and resurrection of Christ.

The priest will then assign you some penance--perhaps some prayers to say or an action to perform related to your spiritual growth.

Act of Contrition and Prayer of Absolution

The priest will invite you to express your sorrow, probably by praying an Act of Contrition. You may say this formal prayer or simply pray spontaneously from your heart. Tell God you are sorry and will try to do better. If you do not know a prayer, or have trouble composing one, you may say the Jesus Prayer: "Lord Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."

Act of Contrition: "O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you and I detest all my sins because of your just punishment, but most of all because they offend you, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love.  I firmly resolve with the help of your grace to sin no more, to avoid the near occasion of sin, and to change my life. Amen."

Then listen attentively to the words of the Prayer of Absolution: "God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church, may God give you pardon and peace; and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

At the end, answer: "Amen."

Proclamation of Praise of God and Dismissal

Many people just leave at this point, but the Rite of Reconciliation recommends that the priest say, "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good."

You answer, "His mercy endures forever." Then the priest invites you to go in peace, freed from sin.

You may now leave; try to do your penance as soon as practicable.